--- title: Coaching a Team Member you Can’t Terminate description: Three tips on coaching a team member that is disengaged, confrontational, and under-producing... and that you can’t terminate image: https://www.advantexe.com/hubfs/Blogs/coach-disengaged.png --- [![logo-advantexe-150.png](https://www.advantexe.com/hs-fs/hubfs/logo-advantexe-150.png?width=150&height=123&name=logo-advantexe-150.png "logo-advantexe-150.png")](https://www.advantexe.com) ![blog-banner-2022](https://www.advantexe.com/hs-fs/hubfs/blog-banner-2022.png?width=973&name=blog-banner-2022.png "blog-banner-2022") ### The Advantexe Advisor Blog - providing a deep and applicable understanding of the system of business. # Coaching a Team Member you Can’t Terminate By Robert Brodo | Sep 29, 2016 8:13:46 AM | [![Share on Facebook](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/facebook-24x24.png)](http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.advantexe.com%2Fblog%2Fcoaching-team-member-cant-terminate%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dfacebook) [![Share on LinkedIn](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/linkedin-24x24.png)](http://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.advantexe.com%2Fblog%2Fcoaching-team-member-cant-terminate%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dlinkedin) [![Share on Twitter](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/twitter-24x24.png)](https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?original_referer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.advantexe.com%2Fblog%2Fcoaching-team-member-cant-terminate%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dtwitter&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.advantexe.com%2Fblog%2Fcoaching-team-member-cant-terminate%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dtwitter&source=tweetbutton&text=Coaching%20a%20Team%20Member%20you%20Can%E2%80%99t%20Terminate) [![Share on Pinterest](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/pinterest-24x24.png)](http://pinterest.com/pin/create/button/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.advantexe.com%2Fblog%2Fcoaching-team-member-cant-terminate%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Dpinterest&media=) [![Share on Email](https://static.hubspot.com/final/img/common/icons/social/email-24x24.png)](mailto:?subject=Check%20out%20https%3A%2F%2Fwww.advantexe.com%2Fblog%2Fcoaching-team-member-cant-terminate%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Demail%20&body=Check%20out%20https%3A%2F%2Fwww.advantexe.com%2Fblog%2Fcoaching-team-member-cant-terminate%3Futm_medium%3Dsocial%26utm_source%3Demail) **What Can you Do With the Disengaged, Confrontational, Under-producing Employee that Cannot be Terminated? ** When facilitating our Advantexe [Business Leadership development workshops](https://www.advantexe.com/business-leadership-development-programs) I often say that the ![coach-disengaged.png](https://www.advantexe.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Blogs/coach-disengaged.png?width=350&height=350&name=coach-disengaged.png)most difficult employee to lead isn’t the one who is under-producing, frustrated, upset and threatening to quit; rather the most difficult employee to lead is the one who is under-performing, frustrated, upset, and has no intention of leaving their cushy, well-paid job. This morning, to help share and stimulate application of our leadership content, one of our participants described a nightmare leadership situation that is causing him stress, anxiety, and taking the fun out of his job. *“I was named Manager of this small group of IT professionals in June.  We had 9 people on the team the day I started and was told to narrow it down to 7 within 30 days to save costs.  Within the first 30 days I had 6 of the team members voluntarily leave for either early retirement or other opportunities within the organization, leaving me with just 3 to start with.  Knowing that I better fill the jobs quickly – for fear of more slots being eliminated – I hired 4 new people from the outside to create what I thought was a great balance.* *“I have been blind-sided by Christina.  My leadership style is hands-off. I give people the room they need to do their jobs, provide feedback when appropriate, and facilitate a collaborative team environment.  Christina has been negative, confrontational, and completely unproductive since day one.  My feeling is that she thought she should have been given my job as leader of the team and she comes to work angry every day.  I have tried to coach her, have open conversations with her, give her stretch assignments, and a ton of other things to motivate her.  Nothing has worked.  Worse yet, she acts as if she can’t be terminated because our company is very litigation-adverse and avoids potential age discrimination cases at all costs.  I would love to just terminate her which I can’t, or move her to another department which won’t happen because everyone knows that she is a potential cancer to any team.  I am at a complete loss and if I can’t figure this out, I am going to leave because this terrible experience has left me demoralized and discouraged.”* This is clearly a painful, demoralizing leadership scenario.  Based on research, best practices, and our own experiences, I have shared three things that you can do to coach more effectively and three things you can do to save your sanity. **Effectively Coaching the Disengaged, Confrontational, Under-producing Employee** 1. **Be extra specific about your expectations, goals, and objectives** - Take the time to develop specific goals that can be measured, are easily attainable, and have specific and documented time frames. 2. **Stick to their comfort / capability zone** - Getting something, anything out of this type of employee unfortunately has to be considered a “win.”  It’s not the best of circumstances, but being able to give them work that is in their comfort and capability zone is best for all. 3. **Provide specific and detailed coaching** - During and after projects, tasks, deliverables, provide specific and detailed coaching that identifies observed behaviors, the impacts of those behaviors, and solutions/ ideas for future behavior evolution. **Things to Save Your Sanity in a Difficult Leadership Situation** 1. **Don’t stress out (it’s not worth it) ** This is a hard situation that probably doesn’t have a positive ending. One of the most important things that you can do is to compartmentalize it and don’t let it stress you out.  Situations like this can end careers, so you need to stay above it at all costs.  The employee you are dealing with has issues.  Don’t become a victim. 2. **Don’t engage in the Confrontations ** No matter what you do as a leader, you will be wrong.  Everything around the disgruntled employee is wrong and that person is probably dealing with serious issues inside and outside of work.  You must do whatever possible not to engage in the confrontations. YOU CAN ONLY LOSE.  There is no winning, so don’t even engage. 3. **Document everything** Be positive in nature, don’t stress, and don’t engage.  In addition, document everything.  Send the employee emails with goals and objectives, document coaching situations and conversations, and send HR and others documentation about confrontations and dysfunctional behaviors. [![Why Business Acumen Matters ](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/1153922/ef562d5a-acb6-45df-86ae-098c09e7fcc0.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/1153922/ef562d5a-acb6-45df-86ae-098c09e7fcc0) ![Robert Brodo](https://www.advantexe.com/hubfs/Blogs/rob-brodo-author.png) **About The Author** Robert Brodo is co-founder of Advantexe. He has more than 20 years of training and business simulation experience. [**](https://www.advantexe.com) [**](https://twitter.com/robrodo) [**](https://www.linkedin.com/pub/rob-brodo/0/334/574) COMMENTS ### SUBSCRIBE VIA EMAIL ### About Advantexe Advantexe is a gold medal winning training and performance improvement organization specializing in the development and delivery of interactive learning journeys using computer-based business simulations as the catalyst for learning and change in the areas of: Business Acumen, Business Leadership, and Strategic Business Selling learning solutions. 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